A Tale as Slow as Time: "Beauty and the Beast" Review
"An adaptation of the Disney fairy tale about a monstrous-looking prince and a young woman who fall in love."
Directed by: Bill Condon
Written by: Stephen Chbosky
Written by: Stephen Chbosky
Evan Spiliotopoulos
Starring: Emma Watson
Dan Stevens
Luke Evans
Josh Gad
Kevin Kline
Ewan McGregor
Ian McKellan
Emma Thompson
Audra McDonald
Stanley Tucci
Gugu Mbatha-Raw
Everyone knows the story of Beauty and the Beast so I'm not going to waste anyone's time going over it. The latest in Disney's current trend of remaking their animated films, this was marketed as just that but with a more modern and feminist take on Belle. How did it turn out? Well, this might end up being my shortest review because there honestly isn't much too talk about. Bill Condon's update somehow manages to stretch the story out to a needlessly long length while providing little to no depth. This is a essentially a glossy, soulless repaint that has no need to exist other than to rake in the money that "Disney Princess Hermione" brings in. I hate to sound so cynical and I usually don't like to immediately compare remakes to originals but in this case it's almost impossible. This is almost the exact same film as the 1991 classic give or take a few new added scenes.
The problem that stands out immediately is Emma Watson. It really breaks my heart to say this but she just isn't all that good in this. When we first meet her she sings her titular song "Belle" and it's here where we realize how badly miscast she is. From frame one she's unsure of herself, never fully committing to the role. On top of that her singing voice isn't great either. It's auto tuned like crazy and it makes it incredibly distracting to hear this processed voice wail over the setting it's taking place in. This is made equally troubling when Luke Evans shows up as Gaston. I'll elaborate on Evans more later but when he shows up during her opening number, he's head and shoulders in a class above her. Evans is a trained theater actor and next to Watson it's almost unfair. His voice booms in all the right places and he looks so damn comfortable prancing around as the film's big bad. Let's be clear, Watson is not a bad actress. This just wasn't the role for her. It's been said time and time again but in a massive, sweeping musical like this you can't get away with an actress who can carry a tune.
Cinematographer Tobias A. Schliessler shoots this with so much frantic energy that the result is a messy and blurry fiasco. Mixed with iffy CGI, you're hard pressed to be able to tell what's going on in most scenes as everything, including what the camera is supposed to be focusing on, blurs into the ether. It's a truly ugly film for the most part which is shocking because this is supposed to be a vibrant film full of life. This is the biggest misstep to me. Emma Watson being barely passable is one thing but when your efforts to redo Disney turns out something this muddy and bland, you've made a big mistake. The best looking scene is the "Be Our Guest" number. That's the closest I ever felt to feeling any sort of magic (outside of Gaston chewing away at the scenery). That scene is a ton of fun as the furniture fully comes alive and Lumierre (McGregor) and Mrs. Potts (Thompson) finally have something to do other than quip in the background. Other than that, I was dumbfounded at how inept the photography was in this. It's one of the worst shot films with this size of a budget that I've seen in quite awhile.
The final nail in the coffin is how long this drags on. Condon and the writers pad out an already perfect story with needless scenes that are meant to flesh out Belle and the Beast. The problem is, there's such little chemistry between the two of them that this just makes the film even longer and has you checking the time and asking "it can't possibly be this long can it?". I'm all for long films but only when I care about the people involved. There's nothing for me to care about here. Watson is giving such a wooden performance and then there's the problem with the Beast's CGI. Dan Stevens is giving a pretty good performance here, I can't deny that at all. The CGI is awkward and sometimes clumsy, he's meant to be a lumbering beast which makes sense but it just came off as so clunky. You never truly buy it. It's his face that makes it a little easier to take in though. The motion capture on him is great and he gives a really soulful performance, arching his eyebrows here and smirking there. It turns a cartoon into a 3-dimensional character and it's one of the few saving graces.
The biggest saving grace is the aforementioned Luke Evans. He's absolutely delightful as Gaston. Gaston is such a reprehensible character, largely misogynistic and narcissistic that it should be impossible to like him. Evans just breezes right through with such a strong level of confidence that you're generally smiling ear to ear at how terrible this guy is. He's so full of himself and he just demolishes every scene he's in. In a bland, muddy and grey film, Evans is the beam of light that almost makes it worth your time. Josh Gad is also a lot of fun as Le Fou and while there was some completely unnecessary pre-release controversy around his character being gay, the film doesn't really touch that. He's very over-the-top and silly but he never falls too far into a stereotype. Evans and Gad should have an entire movie to themselves. I'd much rather watch these two sing about how great Gaston is than a block of wood argue with CGI fur.
So that's pretty much all I have for this one. I generally love to write and write and write about film and I've had to stop myself in the past from going on too long but I can't really go any further with this one. The film adds absolutely nothing to justify its existence save for a scene or two that tries to flesh out Belle's backstory. It's a glossy yet muddy, long yet empty and bombastic yet boring affair that isn't worth your time at all. Go see Logan or Get Out or the massively entertaining Kong: Skull Island. All three are still out and still good. Or if you're craving this story but want something different from the Disney version, check out the Jean Cocteau's La Belle et la Bete, an excellent 1946 French take on the fairy tale.
The final nail in the coffin is how long this drags on. Condon and the writers pad out an already perfect story with needless scenes that are meant to flesh out Belle and the Beast. The problem is, there's such little chemistry between the two of them that this just makes the film even longer and has you checking the time and asking "it can't possibly be this long can it?". I'm all for long films but only when I care about the people involved. There's nothing for me to care about here. Watson is giving such a wooden performance and then there's the problem with the Beast's CGI. Dan Stevens is giving a pretty good performance here, I can't deny that at all. The CGI is awkward and sometimes clumsy, he's meant to be a lumbering beast which makes sense but it just came off as so clunky. You never truly buy it. It's his face that makes it a little easier to take in though. The motion capture on him is great and he gives a really soulful performance, arching his eyebrows here and smirking there. It turns a cartoon into a 3-dimensional character and it's one of the few saving graces.
The biggest saving grace is the aforementioned Luke Evans. He's absolutely delightful as Gaston. Gaston is such a reprehensible character, largely misogynistic and narcissistic that it should be impossible to like him. Evans just breezes right through with such a strong level of confidence that you're generally smiling ear to ear at how terrible this guy is. He's so full of himself and he just demolishes every scene he's in. In a bland, muddy and grey film, Evans is the beam of light that almost makes it worth your time. Josh Gad is also a lot of fun as Le Fou and while there was some completely unnecessary pre-release controversy around his character being gay, the film doesn't really touch that. He's very over-the-top and silly but he never falls too far into a stereotype. Evans and Gad should have an entire movie to themselves. I'd much rather watch these two sing about how great Gaston is than a block of wood argue with CGI fur.
So that's pretty much all I have for this one. I generally love to write and write and write about film and I've had to stop myself in the past from going on too long but I can't really go any further with this one. The film adds absolutely nothing to justify its existence save for a scene or two that tries to flesh out Belle's backstory. It's a glossy yet muddy, long yet empty and bombastic yet boring affair that isn't worth your time at all. Go see Logan or Get Out or the massively entertaining Kong: Skull Island. All three are still out and still good. Or if you're craving this story but want something different from the Disney version, check out the Jean Cocteau's La Belle et la Bete, an excellent 1946 French take on the fairy tale.
VERDICT
Beauty and the Beast is a long, ugly and empty mess saved only by the wonderful Luke Evans as Gaston and Josh Gad as his sidekick Le Fou. Bill Condon's garish update does nothing to warrant it's right to exist when there are plenty of other versions of this tale to choose from, including the very cartoon this remaking. Watson stumbles through the film awkwardly, often looking lost and Dan Stevens gives a decent performance that happens to be buried under some pretty rough CGI. A true disappointment.
4.5/10
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